Just another one of those

I thought my next post was gonna be about something nice or pleasant but.... well, next time maybe...

Am not doing so good. It's been like a month. There's just this feeling that I cannot explain. Nope it's not an emotional feeling. Just a feeling of being mixed up, or messed up, confused; well you get the idea.

Haha, at least I got quite a load of assignments done. Could have done better though.

Is homework messing with my head?

No that's not it. That's just an excuse I give myself...

I don't know what I want to do and I end up doing nothing. I'm not getting along with anything. I feel that my life's been put on hold. I'm not living a life fully. For some reason I just tell myself, what it is now is just temporary, it'll pass. But why am I thinking like this?! There is nothing temporary, this is my life, and this is the way it is. It's like I'm waiting for something to happen or something to pass. Am I not commiting to my life? Like how Melissa says I don't look like I am commiting myself to my movements?

Yes, my problem is I don't commit myself fully to my movements. But not commiting to my life, now that's a big problem. A problem of disastrous proportions... end of my world >_<

Haha, I can't believe I writing all these here. I thought I've learnt to keep things to myself for the better. If it doesn't do anything to say it, or it's pointless, then don't say, because the output will come in the form of complains. But I am blogging about what's eating at me now am I... I suppose subconciously, this is me calling for help. Reaching a point where it's gonna break me. An SOS... is anybody listening?

Oh, by now I thought I would have got used to their insensitive form of words. A bunch of insensitive talking older people that makes me hate them everytime although they are the ones close to me. I really think they should stop talking and thinking like this, it pisses people off. Or maybe it is just sensitive me.

Maybe my mum is right. I always say I feel that I don't belong and don't get along anywhere. But maybe it's because I never try to...
I am human, I am not perfect, but I try.
I am not happy with who I am, but I try.
Clearly I am misunderstood alot, but I try.
Things aren't always what it seems... I feel pain too, even sometimes when it seems alright.
I want to dig a hole and hide.
I don't wanna be judged.

All this will pass... in time. You see? That's my problem.