Why

I see how many people show the ugly side of them when they vent out their frustration in blogs, saying unpleasant things. I'm guilty of doing that a couple of times too, but I'll try to avoid doing that from now on...
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I feel so misunderstood. I can't believe Huikuan is always questioning me where my priority is. I thought that was something so obvious. What ever happened to trust? I'm so disappointed that they don't trust me, even though I've been there for almost seven years already.

You can criticize my dead face, emotion-less, no expression dancing. You can criticize my stiff dancing. You can criticize my lousy ballet technique. But please don't criticize my sense of priority of what or where is more important.

They really don't see the matured sensible responsible side of me. Even "emo" teenagers grow up a little too someday after thinking too much.

I'm heart broken. See what I mean about I feel like I belong no where?

I feel like I don't belong in my family. Now the place that feels like my second family don't see me as one.

Why?

You don't read me

Just posting random stuffs...

I finished my technique exams! Feel so relieved, but can't take a break now. The journey doesn't end here. I think I did quite okay, but could have been better. For ballet, I panicked as usual but got more comfortable after a few of the barre exercises. What I worried most was the La Fille Mal Gardee variation that I had to do at the end. Not my best performance, but I would put it in my top 5. Haha, "walk out... gold medal". =p I think only my classmates would know what that means. I didn't do as good for comtemporary exam, but overall still acceptable. Didn't screw up.... much. Was nervous and had shaky ankles, which didn't help one bit in turns. I can only hope to score more for my performance and progress in class throughout the semester.

Okay, so that's that. A little reflection about my technique exam.

Hmmm.... SYF. Yea, Riverside's modern dance GWH. Good job! Debbie's probably still bursting with joy now. Haha... Riverside chinese dance Gold. Well I guess most of them are disappointed, but a Gold's still a good result. It doesn't end here guys, still gotta keep at what you're doing. Anyway, actually 'O' Level's a lot more important. Haha. Glad First Toa Payoh got Gold too =) Dang, I didn't get to watch any of the dances this time round. Will try to grab hold of a DVD when it's out.

I know dance is a performing art. But one thing I realize about myself is that I hate to be judged.

Mild depression... In the midst of all that there is, in the midst of all that I care about, I've lost myself. I'm here, but I'm not anywhere. I'm alive yet I do not live to exist. What I'm trying to say is, I feel that I do not belong anywhere anymore. I look at the man in the mirror, and I do not know where he is standing.

The others have a life. Where is mine? If I look hard enough, I do have a life, however subtle it is. But no one cares about it. Who needs to anyway, I'm just... me. If only I spoke, if only you listened...

Not making anymore sense. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry. I'm sorry, I'm me.

Going hard.

Ain't taking a day off. Oh yea!

Haha... a bit random. But once in a while, it's good to have something different from all the emo posts I usually have. =p

Lost in thoughts, lost in time

张韶涵- 真的

我努力的仰着脸孔
试着眼泪不往下流
别往下流

不安的感觉到什么
在我生活中不再相同
很不相同

想要说
却还沉默
伸出手
无法触碰

天空突然一片辽阔
原来你是真的已经离开我
在我不熟悉的世界过新的生活
闭上眼让泪水滑落
此刻你已真的永远离开我
在另外一个没有我的世界
自由的走

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男子汉流汗不流泪.
I know, but once in a while I just can't take it.
Give me some time, I'll be fine again in a bit.

Piled up

Got exams, essays and presentation next week. Wish me luck!

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I feel... sad.