[ nothi_g to se_ h_re ]

It's funny that I'm always eating when I post something here. But this time it's not bread with peanut butter and strawberry jam. I'm eating milo and biscuits :P Haha, another wonderful combination...

I'm cutting out the 'birds' now. It's harder than it looks. Yea, I'm using a scissors used for cutting hair. Haha, which reminds me of a few lines from the movie You Don't Mess With The Zohan.
"I want to.... ... cut hair."
"Make your hair silky smooth..."
Actually I'm not sure wether I'm cutting them right, but I sure hope I am. Haha, I think there's gonna be a problem with the sewing part :p

I feel so lost right now. I don't know what I'm feeling. I think I'm supposed to be happy, but I'm not. And it's not sadness I'm feeling. Believe me, I know how being upset feels like. I'm just.... I don't know what best describes this... empty.
All these things that I've been doing, the decisions I've made, the choices I made; it's making me vulnerable.
Punch me, it'll hurt. Stab me, I'll bleed. I don't want to be shattered all over again. I don't think I can bring myself back up again if it ever does happens.

Dang, I'm thinking way too much already. Gotta play it cool... ;] Everything's gonna turn out just fine. "Oh yea, real comforting". Haha, the beauty of sarcasm.

Ok, I finished cutting out ten 'birds' already. Will leave out the rest for tomorrow since I'm still not very sure I'm doing it right.

I'm hoping for a great day tomorrow, seriously. Staying positive =) (trying desperately to.)

I wish... Oh nevermind.

Being Random.

Hungry. I'm eating bread with peanut butter and strawberry jam now. That's a delicious combination =p

I don't think I'm fully utilizing my holiday. It's almost two months already but I still don't feel the holiday mood. Maybe it's because there's the performance in August to worry about. Maybe.... Haha...

Been visiting the library quite a few times recently. It's funny seeing the secondary and junior college students studying inside there. Stress is written all over their faces. Even when it was reaching 9pm, many students were still busy mugging away. And there I was taking my own leisure time strolling down the aisle of books looking for something nice to read. I feel so relaxed compared to all those students. Sad... Wahaha...

Been having nightmares since the end of dance camp. Well, sort of... it's not really scary but it just makes me feel bad when I wake up. And there're all about the same thing, though they're all different scenes. Four times already. Dang, am I getting paranoid? Haha, maybe it would help to not think too much before going to sleep.

There's supposed to be a few more random stuffs I wanna write about. But I'm getting lazy. And it's getting late. Will end here for now. No wait, one more thing...

Realized I've been sailing off course lately. I'm not heading towards my destination. Just floating around and going where the wind takes me, with no regards as to whether it takes me closer or farther away from my destination. Is this the right thing to do? Or is it time for me to keep the sails, row out my oars and start peddling?

Hmmm.... Think I'll do both. The wind will take me along with it, and my oars will make sure I don't steer off course too much. Yup. Let's leave it at that for now. Focus, ZuYou. Stay positive. Still I remain nostalgic in this journey across these seas of melancholies.

Haha, what the he*l was all that about? Just a lousy attempt to express how I'm feeling in a more interesting way :p

Peace.

Hungry!

OMG! I'm not even this hardworking when I was doing my schoolwork.

Haha, I just finished editing the F&N coursework. Phew! Didn't realize it would take this long. Haha, it was so funny correcting some of the mistakes she made inside =x =) And I learnt quite a lot of new things. Checked up on a couple of words and terms used in cooking. Guess what? Folding also means adding something gently into a mixture. I never knew that before...

Haha, doing this kinda sparked a little interest in me for cooking. Nah... who am I kidding =p The only decent dish I made so far is fried rice. My momma's my ShiFu. Hmmmm... maybe I should watch more Jamie Oliver shows :p He is one good cook, though I've never tasted his dishes... but the food looked really tasty on TV :p

Fatigue's taking its toll on me. Gotta go ZZZ ZZZ ZZZ.... Wahaha.
Peace y'all.

It's OVA!!! =p

Oh! There's so many things running through my head right now, and there's so many things I want to write about. But I think I'm too lazy tonight. Will try... :p Hehe...

Aha, it's been a long week of intensive practice. Wu Dao Ying is finally over! It felt longer than a week to me. It was one of the best dance camps I had, though not one of the most productive for me :p I kinda slacked off a bit myself. Maybe that explains why I didn't have any muscle aches. Didn't push myself as hard as I usually do.

Believe it or not, the few days spent there were one of the happier days I have this year. No stress over all the usual silly things I worry about. All there is to worry about is dance well for the production in August. I hope all of us will be in shape, well and ready before the month of August. Jiayou SHHK dancers!

I learnt quite a lot from the camp. I learnt more about myself. There are things within my control, and things beyond my control. I have to get this point right and be more responsible for my own actions. I lost it quite a few times, gotta be smarter next time. Hmmm... leading the simple life I imagined isn't as easy as I thought it would be. Time and time again I have to remind myself not to be blinded by selfish decisions and stray away from the goals I've set. Well it's a relief to know that no one's perfect, but I'm working on it. I guess that's what make us human. That's what define us as humans and not machines. Machines are engineered for perfection, but humans never were. Perfection, is a process, like a never-ending journey. How the journey unfolds depends entirely on us. We write our own stories.

Oh ya, quite a few people's birthdays fall on the days during Wu Dao Ying. Including hers too =D Yea, I gave her her present! Haha, I thought I would be brave enough, but I ended up not having the courage to. Took multiple encouragement from everyone, including her, before I managed to. >.< it was so embarassing. (*gotta be a man, zuyou! Haha, just a thought to myself.) What I did wasn't one of the most excellent craftsmanship of the century, but I hope she likes it. A lot of love and sweat was put into making it, Wahaha! Well, what's done is done. No regrets there. =p

Of course, there were many other interesting things that happened during Wu Dao Ying, but that's all I'll write here for now. Maybe I'll post more stuff tonight after a quick night snack =P

Cheers!

Tuesday!

Haha, yesterday(Tuesday) went by really quickly for me. It was a great day, not much stress =p Went to eat at a jap restaurant, Hanabi. The best thing about it is it's free. All the peeps who taught in BICEP were invited. JZ, JF, YX and I met up and went together. The *ahem couple didn't go =x. It was a buffet! But the problem I had was I don't know any of the food. I ordered mostly simple ones like salmon chicken etc. Haha... no cows for me :p Anyway, I wanted to take pictures but was too busy eating all the food. It was a nice place...

I haven't exactly planned out what I wanted to do that day. Just have a list of things that I need to get done. I have so much work to do! Haha, but I ended up following them to Miss Jia Zhen's shop, Myth. Next time I'll open another shop beside it, call it Legend =p. So we just spent the afternoon inside the shop, just chilling out... zzz zzz Haha

I need to work on a choreo to teach the primary school kids on Wednesday. So I went to SHHK to brainstorm. But I fell asleep as soon as I got that. Was lying on the floor inside the studio. I only woke up when Laoshi came and saw me sleeping on the floor. She was going to choreo the solo for Miss Jenny. So I quickly thought of some last minutes step and left asap. Yea, I'm gonna use the song 'Getcha Head In The Game' from High School Musical to teach the kids.

So anyway, I went to TPY popular, bought a few stuffs and went to YingJie's house. It was almost 10 by then. I need to burn the songs for the class. I really need to get my own CD writer :P While I was there, we discussed a few things about building my 'ironman' suit. Yea, it's a secret =p

I reach home late that day. Was gonna start working on it... but dang, I fell asleep as soon as I finished supper (U.u)zzz zzz
What a day....

Feeling happy or just acting happy?

Yea, so about the last post. Well it really is easier said than done. But I'm working on it :P Haha... just staying positive. Today was a good enough day I suppose, though it isn't really a productive one. Was helping Miss Jenny with RS modern dance in the morning. That sec1 Shaun is so annoying! But he's funny in a lame way I'll give him that. He just sec1 only and he's already acting like that. I was super shy when I first join dance lo. Wow, imagine what kind of person he'll be with a few more years down the road . I don't wanna know =p

So anyway, was planning to go for class after that. But really couldn't bring myself to go. Too lazy... wahaha. Ended up having lunch with Engkiat instead. Then we go Mr Chong's house! Went there to help out and stuff. I got to paint some of the walls! Never got tired of painting walls, it's fun but I don't really know why :P We got free chicken rice after that too. Since there's know furniture and it's so hot inside, we ended up just sitting outside the house eating. Not a glamorous sight really.

And that's day one of a simple life =p Oh man, I really gotta work on my writing. Still sound like a kid. Haha... I'm still working on that little something that I want to do. Well technically I'm just planning now. Gotta put into action soon, no time already!!! =p

Peace y'all.

Cheers!

It's time to stop crying. Haha, it was late when we reached woodlands just now after practice at SHHK. YingJie and I went for 'supper' at Burger King. They were closing at 12am and we went in at 11.55! Haha, they must be kinda pissed off see customers walking in when they all preparing to close. So anyway, we chatted quite a bit. About life in the future and stuff. Thanks dude! Dang, I really gotta grow up. It isn't easy in the world out there. It's a dog eat dog world out there(what a stupid expression).

It doesn't really help much if I keep thinking about those things in the past and get sad over it. What does matter is that we look towards the future and hope for the best. I can't correct the mistakes I made before, but I can avoid them in the future.

Life isn't that bad if you look at it in another way. Okay, time to 改變自己 again. I live simple :p Just wanna be happy and do what I can to make the people I care for happy. And that includes you! Haha... It's tiring to draw circles you know.

I wish...