Self-less and Self-worth

"Re-orienting yourself based on the beliefs and standards of others rather than your emotional needs is always a one-way ticket to low self-esteem. What you’re telling your sub-conscious is that your ideas, values and beliefs are not as important as those of people around you, and so you sacrifice your identity and values in order to cash in on the validation from others. This is a losing strategy, as the satisfaction of external validation is temporary. Once it runs out, you always need more."

If this is correct, then maybe I am doing it all wrong...