Sometimes I just wish that it wasn't true. I just wish it didn't happen, that it wasn't real. I cannot keep lying to myself. What if one day I finally accepted everything into my head, then what? I'm not sure how long I can keep this up. Even sleep won't let me rest from reality. I have nightmares; what happens in truth, what I keep thinking about, they all occur in the dreams. Or at times it's those dreams that are "too good to be true", then I wake up and the truth strikes back into my mind and heart. It's all blurry now, what is real and what is not. I cannot even trust what I am feeling now, because unknowingly, I just might be lying to myself. It gets easier. Without this illusion, I really don't know how I am going to get by.

I stay true to the feelings in my heart and to who I care about. Call me naive, but I see a meaningless life if one does the opposite. There is a lot of ugliness in this world, more than enough to go about. And if you stray from the things that define what and who you are, you might just turn into one of them. Never let that happen. Never compromise. Never lose faith. Never say that it is meaningless.