In the Middle of the Night.

Life's been really tiring these few days. Been crushed by all the assignments given. Hmmm... will take a half-day off next week if there's time =p Hehe..

I realized I don't use my brain as much as I should. Dumb. Talk about "All brawn and no brain". But I'm not really muscular in the first place -.-" That makes me "No brawn and no brain", meaning "useless".

Had a tough dance day today. A**ert Ti*ng fired up quite a few times during contemporary class today. I was even singled out to do one of the exercises. Luckily I wasn't yelled at. Phew! Today is the first time I heard him scolding in full sentences. Last time all I heard is "Shit!", or "Stupid!" Haha... Something "embarassing" happened to me during ballet class today; Shhhh!!! Don't tell anyone... I cried =( Just got fed up of how I can't do ballet... And nobody gives as much a damn about me as the others. I'm on my own, gotta improve faster... :p In movement class, Mr Aaron talk to us more about the 'dark' dance world out there. I hate it when they keep 'complaining', but I'll just keep silent at a corner. It's okay to work at our own suitable pace. But like him, I would very much like to soar up to the sky asap. without causing too much injuries to myself of course :p Life is short, especially a dancer's life.

For a moment or two today, I felt different. I felt I could live my own life again, without you. Haha... is that a good thing or a bad thing? I don't know. My yao's getting worse. Maybe should go see a doctor about it.

Gotta start doing my voice assignments now. Hope I can get at least 3 hours of sleep tonight. Have a nice day y'all.

-.-zzz

Hooray! I finally finsh my Learning and Research assignments. There goes my sleep though -.-zzz Haha, gotta go off to school soon -.-zzzz

Have a nice day y'all -.-zzz

The things that you do...

You're the one who can bring me joy and happiness. You're also the one who can make me sad. You made me shed a thousand tears for you. It's not worth it, but I just can't help it.

Not in a very good mood right now. Haha, when was I ever in a good mood. Stress...

Hope I can do something by the end of this miserable lonely night. I seek comfort from you, but I just can't find any. Shit, I'm going crazy. Need to sleep.

Oh ya, went to watch NAFA's show today. Amazing.

Don't bother.

PEOPLE, DON'T BOTHER READING THIS.

I'm really miserable. I feel that I am useless. I feel that I am hopeless. I feel that I can't get anything done. I feel that things can't be done my way.

No wait... I am useless. I am hopeless. I can't get anything done. Things can't be done my way. Arggg, I suck.

Haha, no use f*cking up. It ain't gonna help at all. Just wanna 'scream' my a*s off somewhere. Guess I need a shoulder to lean on.

When I needed you the most. You weren't there.
Sh*t, a tear almost came out when I typed that. Managed to held it back. Gotta shake this feeling off. It's not gonna do anyone any good.

Good Nite.

Wasting time? Or not?

Alamak! It's almost 3am. I spent the whole night watching dance videos of all kinds on youtube. Saw a lot of "innovative hip hop", smart people =P It kinda scares me how amazing trained dancers can be. It made me realize too how much I still have to work on. At the rate I'm going, I'm never gonna make it big. Oh man, jiayou! *pat on the back.

Haha, I dunno whether I was wasting my time. I am still crushed by all my incomplete assignments. And here I am still not using time to do it. What the heck am I thinking? I feel that time's still far ahead of me (slow down lah! -.-")

Anyway, should get some sleep. Will need lots of energy; having "Shaolin" modern dance tml. Wahaha!

I really wanna be good. But sometimes I just can't seem to put in enough hardwork. I wanna change the man in the mirror.

Nothing I could do.

I don't know why but I can't bring myself to write long long posts recently. I do write a lot for my journal assignments. Hmmm, maybe I should post those assignments here. But who cares anyway, I realize only a few people come to this page. Maybe just one person. Haha...

There's really a lot I wanna say. Maybe I'll write about it next time. Not in a good mood right now. No, it's not about what I've always been depressing about. It's just me. I hate myself coz I'm not a person of good character. I've always respect people with good character, I don't give a damn about successful people. But I realized I'm an asshole myself. I try to change, I really do, but I can't

Give me more time. Dad, you really are a successful person. You worked hard from the bottom up and I fucking well know, coz that's what you keep saying. You did many things well and gave us a lot. But there's something you should know; you fail as a father, my father. Dad, I hope you'll never read this. Coz this is the only thing I have to say to you: FUCK YOU

Maybe I'm just really angry right now and don't mean it. Or maybe I do. Shit. I'll change, for you and you but not you. Dang, I should remove this post.

Why are you so sad?

Wrong place at the wrong time.

I'm using the computer inside the green room of the esplanade now =p Haha, wanted to reach extra early to mentally prepare myself, but I only arrive half an hour earlier. And here I am typing some useless stuff when I should be warming up for the company class starting at 2. (-.-)zzz

Doing my first show for this piece tonight. I'm kinda nervous. It has been performed by the lasalle graduates before. I know there's no way I can do better than the previous dancer who did this role. But hell, I'm gonna do my best of course. Haha, wish me luck!

Peace y'all. (^(oo)^)

Stupid dream...

I had a dream last night. And when I woke up, it just makes me "sick". I thought I've gotten better already. But these few days I'm starting to be like I used to again, depressed. Now I'm back to being a good-for-nothing loser. -.-" Alamak!

I'm late, gotta bounce. See ya.

Just a thought.

Was showering just now and this came into my mind; I find that I'm good at disappointing people, especially myself.

I'm not happy. And I can't remember the last time I truly was.

Mentioned earlier that I won't post anymore complains. You know what? I lied... =p Wahaha!!! Sorry ;P

Thursday Morning.

I just happen to pass by this page. And when I listened to the song playing... wow, I really enjoy listening to this song =p I don't know the lyrics though, but the whole song just seems so sad =(

Been kinda busy these few days. My whole body's aching all over. But when time comes, the so called "en-dolphins" will ease my pain. Haha, I still sucked though -.-" No pain, no gain..;p That's what you have to keep in mind when stretching.

I really wanna do something good, I wanna be good. But so far it's not working out, so hard!!! *Sigh... Sometimes I wish I was smart. Haha, I'm kinda glad everyone doesn't expect much from a 'boy' like me. Gives me less stress. I look at those talented/gifted dancers and I see how tiring it is for them to live up to themselves. But they can all do it though, they did.

I better go find something else to do other than sitting here typing all this nonsensical(did I spell that right?) stuff. DON'T GIVE UP! When life turns its back on you, just smile and walk on... ... ... Peace y'all.