Logged.

I'm writing again. Not as much as I used to. But is is helpful. It's almost like a Penisieve, taking the running thoughts out before they run wild in the head. A strain or two laid out in front of me, helps keep my mind straight, keeps me at ease with myself. Insecurities are sometimes overwhelming and consuming. Lesson of the day: Commitment with Dedication; with Detachment included.

Hey There

Splitted ends

We may be standing on different grounds, but look up, we share the same skies. The ground I am standing on is firm, but the sky... the sky is falling apart.

Thorns and splinters from spiltted ends. They cut you without meaning to. Can't really say I did or didn't see this coming. Doesn't matter, I'll make sure we pull through, together.

Far away

Do you believe in second chances? What if life took a wrong turn and never got back. Or what if everything was meant to go wrong and crooked, and somehow you carve and find your way back.

I'm coming home soon. I want to see her soon. It's worth much more than everything else.

票面无情

I seem like myself, it doesn't seem like myself. What kind of a person am I? What is the train of thought on my mind inside, and what is shown through my body outside? It's troubling to have questions unanswered. So many uncertainties. Uncertainty... uncertainty. Is that what drives people? Always working to the answer but never finding it.

不要把自己的幸福建柱在别人的痛苦中。

不能让别人的幸福建柱你的痛苦。

Just throwing some sayings around.

I don't like to put up with and put on all these facades. It's awkward and unnatural. I want my life back.

我要喝Teh!

最近晚上总是睡不着。一个人脑空白安静了时候，就开始想东想西。我明明是已关灯，埋在被窝里准备入睡眠中，全又没办法睡。以前当兵时就好，做保安的，我们早晚都一定会有人做工。睡不了时我常会找个brother聊聊天哈哈。现在在家里就只有我一个了。

大学我录取了！只需去办一些报名的手续就可以了吧。海外学生会麻烦一些 -_-" 当时想了一些就决定说走就走。听起来很简单。现在还一点年轻就赶快走吧。以后就没这机会了。人生活的只有那么一次，想做的就全心全意做。很期待，紧张也有一点儿害怕。正常的啦哈哈。

不是说我后悔，只是心里有放不下的心情。顺利的话，一去就要读个四年才毕业。熟悉的地方，熟悉的东西，偶尔会想念。 但人与人之间的感情，那就难放下了。家人，朋友，舞团，还有我心里最珍惜的女孩。走了，时间久了，身边的人也慢慢变了。将来会是这么样谁也不知道。我们都只能幻想，猜猜。但我相信，一定会是更好的！Oh yea! :) 常常听到这句 ＂人失去了，才懂得珍惜＂ 这几年来我体验过，可我还是在学着无后悔的珍惜。Gotta learn to enjoy life. Every breath every moment. I'm always looking forward to a destination and fail to look at the value of the journey. Often it is the tiniest bits of the slightest which entails us and make us who we are. Many small subtle moments in a day, a month, a year that adds up to life. "Only when we are no longer afraid do we begin to live."

Heads up high, helmets on, going in for a ride! (My Chinese couldn't keep up with my thoughts, hence the abrupt change of language -.-" I'm ashamed haha)

脑？？的

昨天上了一个来自台湾的现代舞课。还挺好玩的。虽然我是喜欢华族舞， 但我真希望能到台北去学一学，到一个不同的环境体验一些新的东西。

拥有是失去的开始。我想其实这句话和我无关。我没拥有，所以也没有什么失去。只是老实说，心里会觉得有一个很大的空区，没办法填满。有时深夜里想太多会伤心一点。别想太多吧，开心一点吧。

下一站

时间开始模糊了，我什么也没想太多。也许这是我选择脱离世界的一个办法吧。人活来就一定是要竞争的吗？看谁是最完美的，最成功的？

原本在这里是花了时间写了一大段，也想了许多。但是一不小心把全给delete了。真是气死我了！我看我不从打 -_-"

总之我不想给一个现实冷淡的世界弄得不开心。我身活的原则，我的个性，没有必要证明给谁看。我有着这样的想法，可能是因为我累了，也感到很失落。 我是好人，相信我。下一站，会是怎样我也不知道。

想到我之前刚写完的整个blog 不小心给delete 了，真的是笨死了！

Can't sleep 2

No matter how much we believe or don't believe this, I think the people around you changes and moulds the kind of person we are. Who you are, what you do, how you think. Throughout our life, we change and we grow. Life experiences, little, big or small changes us.

I feel myself turning into people I have come to hate.

And to some people, I am probably just a passer-by, a stranger, a coincidence.

最后痛苦的只是我. I've lost almost all my self-worth. What more does my self inflicted pain and hate want to take from me.

Can't sleep 1

I have many things to do. Sometimes I don't understand why I am doing what I do. But I cannot stop to think. At least for now. Just keep going. I'm afraid if I stop to think clearly I might just break down. Let this be a race towards 2013. Please just me let pull through the last few trying weeks of this dreadful year.

I feel better as I learn to take away the "I" and the "me" from my life.

boy

The day I grow up would be when I start considering what's best for myself. To take control and dictate my own life. I am struggling with myself.

Confidence is a personality that shines when reflected in the right way.

I don't have a very good feeling about it all.

Time: 0153am

我常常都说到却没做到，真失败。让自己失望，让别人失望。 Tonight I am just feeling blue. Feeling alone. Tonight I am not hopeful but tomorrow, another day ahead I gotta make it count. Tonight is almost over, let the day begin with an ease of heart and positivity in mind. 我真的想坚强一点，成熟一点，聪明一点，勇敢一点。将来才能照顾我心爱的人。不能放弃。

我。

坚强不待表我不难过。 心里的雨还是下着不停。 我真的很累了。

The Places We Should Have Gone

下雨的心情

也没什么好说的。心里下着雨，总有一天会停的吧。今天的我还是静静的站在旁边。闭上眼睛，叹一口气，然后微笑一下就算了吧。

晚\望

今晚和朋友聊了满多，有很多事情我得好好想。有些问题的答案不在手中就不要去想了。但事实在面前就要接受吧。至少要让自己看清一点，生活要有一个目标！不要再让身边的人担心或失望了。更不想让他们放弃我！很迟了，我脑子也不清醒了。明天更好的一天，加油吧朋友们。 (U.u)zzZZZ

我的不安

当我感到不安时，有谁能告诉我一切都会没事？我想有时也许自己的烦恼不要说出来会更好一些。大男人要学着坚强。即使不能也要摆一个坚强的样子。骗别人也好，骗自己也好。没事就好。=)

两小无猜

每一天像今天一样就好。就算只是朋友也好，把我当是好友也好。有她在身边的日子我很快乐。她眼睛总挂着的欢喜，我很喜欢。不能做男友不重要，我只希望永远能看到她的笑容。我想如果自己能学会不要带着什么要求可望，我也有办法开心一点。 这么多年来，喜欢一个人不容易，也不难。要难过还是快乐是自己的选择。白痴的我只会往坏的一面想。现在，我想学会开朗一点，多笑一点。自己心里真正的快乐，才可以带给别人幸福。 有时只是一两天不见面，或是几个小时，我就想她了。我，是疯了吗。还是一个败给情的傻瓜？连自己的心，我都无法了解。

Regrets

A girl asked me; 为什么男人总是做了事过后才后悔... I cannot say for sure how true that is. Or whether it applies to everyone... But as for myself.. 很多事我是没有做才后悔.

Stuck.

So close... Yet so far. If only things were much simpler... I don't know what to do. Feeling troubled. I should be happy. I must not be selfish. My mind is playing mind games with me tonight. And I am hungry. >_<"