I'm still here

Time check: 2.37am. Yep, middle of the night, the best time to think too much. I've been having these late nights recently, staying up at this unearthly hours and knocking out when it's almost morning. Well that usually happens during the holidays. Once school term starts, I'll be back to waking up early, and not sleeping so early.

Yep, christmas. Christmas time is here. Christmas time is over. Don't celebrate christmas, not in the western traditional fashion, but well I was expecting something special. What was I thinking? What, the magic season of the year? Like, what's this festive season all about, it's not even snowing here. Every time of this year, I kept hoping for something special and getting disappointed. Haha, right it is actually pretty much a normal day. A public holiday with people swarming in the streets and the malls everywhere. Haha...

Can't say I didn't have a good time. Spent the whole day with my family and grandma on christmas eve. We had lunch, tea and dinner. Think I gained like a few kilos that day. Just eating, eating and still eating. Pasta, pizza, frappe, cakes, ice-cream, Ko Ruo Pao, Fried noodles, steamed fish!

Skyped with Elibird that night, all the way from Hong Kong! So funny. Dumb woodlanderism. Sorry to my dog Nicole if I kept her up all night. The computer is in the living room and that happens to be where she sleeps. Seems like Elibird's having a great father-daughter-godparents bonding time. Haha... I'm just kidding. Glad she's doing fine.

Christmas was another half day with my family, cept my sis who's working. Lunch was great I tell ya, beats all the $200+ meal we had on the day before. Was at balestier rd, Bak Ku Teh and Bak Chor Mee! Ok, I'm sounding like a hungry ghost here, but you get the picture. I dunno how celebrities get on these food hunting shows and comes up with different expressions and reactions to the food they eat. Like one for each dish. They must have a thesaurus with words related to nice and yummy. You know how many times they have to express their gratitude for tasting food, like 8 to 10 times per episode. That's like more than a 100 in a season! Haha, respect to them =p

Watched Bodyguards and Assassins with a few huaykuan peeps later that evening. It's a great film to catch. Might get disappointed by the small number of fight scenes by Donnie Yen, but he still kicks ass. Everyone gets their eyes peeled to the screen once he starts his kungfu thing. Oh, and Zhang XueYou made a cameo appearance at the beginning. An educated idealist, enlightening us on what is democracy, and made his dramatic exit by getting shot in the head, blood splashing out in all directions. I was like, "PG? Ohkay..." Great show. Totally worth the money and I can assure you it beats Feng Yun II by a mile.

I've wasted so much time this holiday. Can't say I haven't played but then again I didn't play much. First was the Coppelia production, just when it ends, there's opera rehearsals. I know it's in the evening, but knowing you have to be somewhere in the evening pretty much spoils your whole day. And I mostly end up rotting. Ok, holidays' ending soon.

It is a good thing coz I am thinking too much. Not in the academic way, but the foolish kinda way that can make you go nuts. I need to get a grip. No one's gonna be happy with a sad old bloke like I am now. I know it, they all know it. I hate how things turn out. I have so much regrets. What I should have done. What I shouldn't have. How it might have been. What would have happen. Why is it always like this. Why it happens over and over again. You see what I mean by thinking too much?

Alright, time to get ready for my last semester. From then on, it'll be a much tougher road ahead. I STILL DUNNO WHAT I WANT TO DO!

Let's rock 2010 baby! Make 'em proud. I hope each and everyone of ya out there a good time. Live life like never before. Have no regrets and just keep moving forward with a smile. Taking down each stupid 'plie' a day at a time.

Peace. Time check: 3.18am

Too Free?

Yes! Turns out there's no class or rehearsal on christmas eve and christmas. Isn't that just great. But damn it, two free days and now... I have no idea what to do. Hahaha.

Well anything still beats last christmas =p
Don't wanna think about it.

Check This Out!

This is some wicked dancing.
Awesome choreography.

Haha check out Ring Ding Dong too =)

SOS

This is a neverending conflict. This is a neverending problem.

Maybe it is simply just because it's the middle of the night and I should go sleep. There is this... hole inside of me that cannot be patched up. That empty feeling of agony or something. I dunno. I feel so down sometimes with such ease that it's stupid.
I need someone to be here.
I need someone to talk to sometimes.
I need someone to get me out of it.
I need someone to tell me that it's okay.
I need someone to get me going wherever I am going.
and I'm sounding like some messed up emotional person now.

Not again! Not now. Not ever.

Do you believe in second chances? Or even a third?

Better off alone...

11 in the Morning

Random post... I've been waking up late recently. Sleeping late too of course. Bad habit. Gotta adjust my biological clock back to normal. Don't sleep like a pig!

Gonna cut my hair. Whole head's gotten bushy again since the last time I chopped it off. Haha. I hope I don't wear out before the performance this weekend. Almost done! Better buck up this week =p

Franz where are you? Come out quick! Haha...

December... Christmas?

Decemeber's here! Yup, it is almost the end of the year, about 27 more days to go. Still not fully enjoying the holidays yet. I need to practise more for Coppelia. Been getting more and more lazy, someone motivate me! Haha, I dunno why, but I really find it difficult to get into the condition to practise male variations. Have you noticed that male variations are often full of jumps and turns ONLY? One minute and you'll be gasping for air or clinging to a wall. No stamina lah me =p Jogging maybe? Nah...

I went to visit some old places on Monday. Alone, "ZuYou's day out" -.- I spent the whole day by myself, walking around partially aimlessly, and went for rehearsals in the evening. And guess what, I found quite a few Swatch shops. The hook on the Swatch watch given to me on my 18th birthday is broken. I wanted to get it fixed but I didn't bring it out that day. Next time then...

I can't wait for the real real holidays to start, after dec 13. Then again, I need more time to get myself ready for the performance. I suck! I look really awful in ballet. No feet, no turn-out, no elevation, don even have the ballet look when I dance. Someone enlighten me! Kick that playful lazy thinking mind-set out of me! Not time to loosen up yet. On the other hand, I have no idea what to do after the production. No class? What else is there to do? PIZZA HUT!!! Eat til I grow fat.

Dreading christmas... No idea what to do. Yet.