Shitty

Hi. It's me again.... Today, I went to the ACES day practice. I danced with my Class Comitee members. My class Vice-Chair and Treasurer (Pearl and Jessie)are very good at the dance. The five of us stood at the front of the hall :) So we had a clear view of the modern dancers who are standing on the stage. We danced and danced until I was very very sweaty.

Then after that, the chinese dance boys went onto the stage except for me. At first, I don't want to go up. But then I don't want to repeat the mistake I made previously so in the end, I still went up. It was not very scary as we were back facing the people. After dancing once, I ran away quickly while the others remained on stage. I got stage fright mah. Dunno why I'm so scared even thought the audience don't give a shit about us....

I better learn to overcome this fear. Like what Laoshi always say, a dancer must have confidence. When on stage, nothing else matters. Damn it! Everytime I began to build up confidence, someone would say a few words throw my confidence away. Gotta learn to ignore what other people says.

After that, I went studying with Hanni Jie and Jia Feng. Dunno why everytime when I take out my homework, I would feel very angry. Then I would start scribbling on a paper or bend my pen. Then when I'm angry, my hand will hurt like hell when I write. Think I applied too much strength already. Think I really have to get rid of this habit. I don't like to be angry leh. So sorry, Hanni Jie and Jia Feng. Hope I wasn't very irritating. I want to smile and laugh. But dunno why I get angry all the time. Can't relax. But when I keep my stuff, I would feel better. A lot better. I will be happy again. Haiz.... dunno what's happening to me.

I hope there would be a medicine to cure this habit. I really hate it. Maybe I should go for anger management. Nah.... Am I stressed? I don't think so. I'm just angry. Angry at myself for being a stupid loser who doesn't want to study even though I know I must. Well.... it's getting late already, I'm going to do my literature thingy and revise for my science test. See ya. MAY THE FORCE BE WITH EVERYONE WHO NEEDS IT.