boy

The day I grow up would be when I start considering what's best for myself. To take control and dictate my own life. I am struggling with myself.

Confidence is a personality that shines when reflected in the right way.

I don't have a very good feeling about it all.

Time: 0153am

我常常都说到却没做到，真失败。让自己失望，让别人失望。 Tonight I am just feeling blue. Feeling alone. Tonight I am not hopeful but tomorrow, another day ahead I gotta make it count. Tonight is almost over, let the day begin with an ease of heart and positivity in mind. 我真的想坚强一点，成熟一点，聪明一点，勇敢一点。将来才能照顾我心爱的人。不能放弃。

我。

坚强不待表我不难过。 心里的雨还是下着不停。 我真的很累了。

The Places We Should Have Gone

下雨的心情

也没什么好说的。心里下着雨，总有一天会停的吧。今天的我还是静静的站在旁边。闭上眼睛，叹一口气，然后微笑一下就算了吧。

晚\望

今晚和朋友聊了满多，有很多事情我得好好想。有些问题的答案不在手中就不要去想了。但事实在面前就要接受吧。至少要让自己看清一点，生活要有一个目标！不要再让身边的人担心或失望了。更不想让他们放弃我！很迟了，我脑子也不清醒了。明天更好的一天，加油吧朋友们。 (U.u)zzZZZ

我的不安

当我感到不安时，有谁能告诉我一切都会没事？我想有时也许自己的烦恼不要说出来会更好一些。大男人要学着坚强。即使不能也要摆一个坚强的样子。骗别人也好，骗自己也好。没事就好。=)

两小无猜

每一天像今天一样就好。就算只是朋友也好，把我当是好友也好。有她在身边的日子我很快乐。她眼睛总挂着的欢喜，我很喜欢。不能做男友不重要，我只希望永远能看到她的笑容。我想如果自己能学会不要带着什么要求可望，我也有办法开心一点。 这么多年来，喜欢一个人不容易，也不难。要难过还是快乐是自己的选择。白痴的我只会往坏的一面想。现在，我想学会开朗一点，多笑一点。自己心里真正的快乐，才可以带给别人幸福。 有时只是一两天不见面，或是几个小时，我就想她了。我，是疯了吗。还是一个败给情的傻瓜？连自己的心，我都无法了解。

Regrets

A girl asked me; 为什么男人总是做了事过后才后悔... I cannot say for sure how true that is. Or whether it applies to everyone... But as for myself.. 很多事我是没有做才后悔.

Stuck.

So close... Yet so far. If only things were much simpler... I don't know what to do. Feeling troubled. I should be happy. I must not be selfish. My mind is playing mind games with me tonight. And I am hungry. >_<"

Mid-year

29th June. 28th June. A month since ORD... Has been quite fulfilling I guess. Slowly adjusting back to the heavier load of dancing. Performing with SCGS was a blast. The girls really inspired me with their passion. I hope I can train myself back in time for the upcoming performance. And also, Need.to.get.a.job. Oh man...

Truth is, I don't want the July performance to end so quick. I really like her, and it hurts that I cannot be with her. I cannot be selfish.

Her happiness is more important than mine. Can I really learn to be this self-less? I must not be selfish.

Keep holding on. At times it's seen as wonderful, sometimes sweet. Tonight, it just seems foolish stubborn and pathetic. Somewhere out there, I'm probably just like a bad joke that they can laugh about.

不要再想了。去睡觉吧。。。

Bigger World

Tonight I really feel like a small fish in a vast ocean...

New Life same Person

我只能希望明天会更好。

Soon

Got about 15minutes left before I leave home for camp. I still got 7 months left. Okay, it's 7months 1day to be exact. It may sound fast, but I tell ya, counting it day by day is a different story. 7months is LONG. I can't wait for all these to be over. Then again, I'm scared. I don't know what I want to do next. I can't possibly go back and study straight. I've lost the drive somewhere along my NS life. Take a break and chill yea. What I learnt from what I observe from the other guys is you gotta have fun.

Can't wait for a holiday and to start a more exciting(but maybe not very productive) life. But hell... that's life. It goes on no matter what.

I need more money. I need a higher salary!

"You can count on me like 1 2 3, I'll be there..." Count on Me by Bruno Mars. It's on playing beside me now =) Can I count on you like 4 3 2?

In words

Heard the song "This I Promise You" on the radio today. It's an old song, from primary/secondary school days. I really like this song. There are countless love songs written by composers but I think this one is really sweet.

When I was younger, I guess I didn't think much of these songs or in general, overated romantic bullshits. Having felt what it's like to fall in love, you realize how a feeling for a special someone inspires one to sing a song, write a poem, paint a painting, make a sculpture... expressing love.

I still think about her, just saying.

She is like no other

There has been many times I felt like blogging here because I am upset, but thought better of it. So much negative thoughts. Negativity is like poison, don't get it out and very soon, it just eats you from the inside out. But I don't want to write about how sad I am. I don't think it even helps by talking it out here. Seems like I am having a conversation with myself here.

Those comforting lies are not working anymore. No more self derived illusioned constructed reason excuse explanation. I don't know what else to tell myself.

It is no surprise that what she does affects me. It is my problem, and I don't want her or anyone else to see it. There is something within me that I need to figure out on my own. There's a puzzle inside, a old dusty book, a creaking door hinge, a complicated knot that I need to untie. This knot... I cannot explain what it is; feelings, emotions, words, gestures; everything and anything that makes us human. All bottled up inside that I need to let loose.

And be myself. I don't want to be judged. Especially by myself. Maybe I need to find the freedom to love her again. At this point. I don't know what I am saying. I don't know what to make of this.

The easy way out of this mess would be I cannot even be her friend anymore. But all I know is, I would never want that. As trying as it is, I still want to be friends. I missed out on many chances, I don't want to lose this, this something precious this. I miss her you know.

A beautiful mess.

Plain. Simple. Honest.

很长的一天

这是开始，结束，或途中；我已分不清楚了。
不要害怕，加油。